Like many little girls growing up I dreamt of the fairytale wedding, marrying my knight in shining armour who had my back no matter what life threw at us.
We all know the script in the vows … In sickness & in health…. richer for poorer.
Abuse & fear was never part of the deal, but I was drawn into a fantasy and it turned out to be just that. The reality was I felt trapped in a nightmare and I couldn’t see any way out.
The relationship started off appearing to be picture perfect, everything I’d always dreamt of, but slowly the cracks began to show and before I knew it I was a new mum trapped deeply in a cycle of abuse, trying desperately to cover up what was going on behind my closed doors, partly not wanting to accept my reality and partly fearful of the backlash of exposing his bad behaviour, particularly given his violent tendencies.
I had so many fears that kept me awake at night…
Would anyone believe me ?
Afterall He comes across as such a doting husband and proud new father. On face value he appears to be looking after his family!
How would I survive if I left ?
After getting pregnant I’d been coerced into being heavily dependent on him In every way, financially and emotionally. My confidence had been beaten out of me and the fire In my belly and belief in myself had gone.
And what would people think of me if I broke up my family?
We get married for better or worse right ? This is what I’d grown up believing and I wanted so much for my daughter to have a normal family unit. I fought so hard to give her what she rightly deserved, but it was never meant to be because it takes 2 people to make a marriage work and it requires both parents to be emotionally & psychologically stable to create a happy and secure home for any child.
But as bad as things were, his excessive drinking was about to make our life so much worse, not only did my delightful husband lock me and our 18 month old out of our family home penniless in a drunken abusive rage, but the stress and anxiety his bullying and manipulation had caused me since having our daughter had begun compromising my health and I soon found myself not only dodging bullets of abuse but also fighting for my life after experiencing a perforated bowel and a rare Cancer diagnosis, all whilst trying to keep life as normal as possible for our daughter single handed.
Despite everything I’d gone through, I still kept that window of hope open for another 4 yrs, thinking he would eventually see sense and start to put myself and our child’s needs before his own, but I was kidding myself, what should have made us stronger, actually did the opposite. In fact things got a whole lot worse if that was even possible.
Typical narcissist style, watching me at my lowest point, afraid of what the future looked like for me and our daughter, actually made him feel more powerful, resulting in me getting even more abuse through the best part of my recovery and treatment, and when I wasn’t getting abuse, I was on pins wondering when he was either going to have yet another one of his drunken, abusive episodes or abandon me and our child again whilst I was at my most vulnerable.
See a narcissist preys on vulnerability!
But what he underestimated was the inner strength I knew I still had buried deep within me.
A crisis doesn’t create character… it reveals it
This was the moment my mind started to adapt and wake up to the fantasy and the ongoing manipulation I had played along with for far too long, and that’s where my journey began to build my resilience and break free, taking me on a journey of healing and post traumatic growth.
So you see I’ve been exactly where you are now……
Firstly I want you to know I hear you, I believe you, and I’ve got you.
I’ve developped my domestic abuse breakthrough formula with you and your healing journey in mind, because I want you to break free from the shackles of abuse and start to live the life you truly deserve.
There’s no denying Being in an abusive relationship is sole destroying and if your abuser has narcissistic traits this can often make you doubt your reality and your perception, making it even harder to leave.
One of my biggest turning points was gaining a level of acceptance and seeing my marriage for what it was.
A big part of that was understanding my abuser, what he really meant when he had me doubting myself, and what he really meant when he actually appeared sincere at times.
Let me tell you this knowledge doesn’t just serve you in breaking away from your abuser, this knowledge is priceless when it comes to divorcing an abuser with narcissistic traits.
Be prepared for delays and more delays when it comes to divorcing them, some of which may even leave you scratching your head in complete disbelief.
But just understand these delay tactics are a means of them keeping a level of control over you to intimidate you from afar. And although this shouldn’t come as any surprise given the way they have conducted themselves throughout your relationship, all these games ramp up costs extortionately, which was a cost I couldn’t sustain.
This is why I decided to say goodbye to my legal representative and begin training as a Mckenzie friend, which has allowed me to navigate my way through the family court system along with the guidance of an experienced Mckenzie friend and represent myself at a fraction of the cost of a solicitor.
I’m not going to tell you it’s all plain sailing from there because there’s always going to be processes you can’t control when engaging with the family court system, but Being in control of my own applications and communications meant I was able to make progress much quicker and everything became more streamline.
Now I’m able to support you through the same process so you don’t have to sit in the darkness feeling more and more overwhelmed, uncertain and afraid watching your life spiral further out of control while legal costs just keep stacking up.
When you join my Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Formula, I’m not only going to take you on a journey of self discovery to pull yourself out from the pits of despair, I’m also going to walk you through the exact tools I used to build my resilience and enable me to break free safely from the debilitating cycle of abuse I had experienced for years.
I’m also going to show you how to break through your limiting beliefs that not only lead you into an abusive relationship but these are the same limiting beliefs that are also holding you back from doing what you know in heart you need to do.
My Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Formula supports you in taking back control of your future and moving forward feeling stronger and healthier than you did before.
I genuinely look forward to supporting you in …..BREAKING FREE …..BREAKING THROUGH
& FLOURISHING to a happier & brighter future for you and your children.
And Always remember……
Healing is a journey Not a destination